


Yeah, It's Fake

by izaiza



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, It's toxic, Jaebri, Jaehyungparkian, M/M, Trigger warning for Jae's mindset, but I will resurrect it, i was emo, jaehyungparkian is dead, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2019-10-15 03:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izaiza/pseuds/izaiza
Summary: How Jaehyungparkian became what they are now. Lots of references, you might not get it if you don't stan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Emo hours, guys. I wrote this yesterday before the Berlin concert, before we got those jaehyungparkian moments. I was feeling too emo lmfao I'm sorry.

Brian is sweating. A lot. He's wearing a thin white shirt and the sweat is making it even more see through. Jae would think Brian is having an orgasm on stage, his head tilted upwards, eyes half lidded, expression so blissful. He looks like he's in a trance, he's here but not really here. Brian is high on adrenaline and it is getting to Jae. Not like Jae doesn't get high on stage, the crowd, the energy, the music, he's having the time of his life, there's nowhere else he would rather be than this stage. He wants the audience to have fun, he wants to give them his all, it's not a huge concert and he knows they still have a long way to go. He really appreciates all the people who have come to support them, who believe in their music. And disappointment is the last thing he wants to see in their eyes, scares him the most. He's practised, day and night, he has trouble sleeping, he is anxious. He's trying his best, he's giving it his all. He's focused on his performance and the audience, he's here to show his best, he's here to impress, and yet.

And yet. 

His eyes, traitorous. 

Traitorous. 

His entire being. 

He keeps straying. Brian is right there. Just across Sungjin. He wants to look, he can’t resist, has never be able to, so he does. He wishes he can be in the audience to only see Brian, to see him in all his glory. Though he is thankful to be by his side, wouldn’t give that up for anything. He can't stop looking. Why is it always like this? His ex-roommate, his rival, his best friend. They know each other inside out, it’s been years. They laugh together, cry together, play together, make music together. Moving to a new country was not easy, getting into JYP was thrilling but he couldn’t help the anxiety, his eye twitch getting worse. But if it weren't for Brian, Jae doesn't know how he would have survived. ‘Hyung’, is what Brian calls him, a brother, is what he thinks of him. 

And despite that. Despite that, Jae has these thoughts. He can’t help it, he hates that he can’t help it. God forbid if his secret is ever out. The fans notice though, their eyes like hawks. It scares him. It’s also his own fault. He was too much in love, too young, too confident, never thinking of the consequences. He was so happy and giddy when fans talked about ‘jaehyungparkian’. He named their ‘ship’ afterall. He unabashedly talked about it, he _loved_ it. But Brian… Brian _didn’t._ Atleast not the way Jae did. _’But they think we are gay, hyung!’_ Ofcourse, Brian Kang was not gay. _’They just like to ship us, it’s really common thing in fandom culture, Bri.’_ Jae did not think that deeply about it, he was happy to be with Brian and happy to have finally debuted, if fans are paying them attention, even because of his ‘ship’ with Brian, he’s happy. There’s nothing wrong with it. _’But we are like brothers...and they think we are fucking, it’s kinda…’_ Brian never completed that sentence. Jae still doesn’t know what he was going to say at that time, but it was at that moment everything came spiralling down.

_Fucking?_

Jae did not realise that was something to worry about. Brian and him were not _fucking_ , and fans will always cook up their fantasies. He can’t stop them, and it didn’t bother him.

Except that it did, eventually.

Maybe it was Brian Kang’s fault.

‘ _They think we are fucking… it’s kinda…_ ’

….kinda hot. Is what Jae wanted to say, but couldn’t. Couldn’t because Brian wouldn’t agree, would in fact say it’s disgusting. _We are like brothers._

Over time, Jae tried to stop thinking about it. Thinking about _fucking_ Brian Kang. But his mind was traitorous and he couldn’t, couldn’t when they spent every moment awake and asleep together. Being roommates with him was the best but also the worst. 

Jae tried to give nothing away but he still liked that atleast their fans want to see them together. He kept feeding the jaehyungparkian ship. Kept talking about how good looking Brian was, how hot his morning voice sounded like, how cute his new nickname for him is. It was not something he did on purpose, it came to him naturally. He could never stop talking about Brian.

Until he did. Learnt how to do it. It became easy when Brian dismissed him.

“I love you.”

“Thank you.”

“Jaehyungparkian is fake?”

“Yeah, it’s fake.”

Until it became too much, too painful. Until he became numb.

Like now.

He’s in too deep. 

He wants to fuck Brian Kang on stage.

He’s going crazy.

_Don’t think about anything._

_‘They think we are fucking… it’s kinda…’_

Jae plays his guitar hard. Tries to lose himself in the music. It works when he’s on stage. Don’t look at Brian, don’t talk to him, engage with the other members, engage with the fans, put in your everything.

He’s numb.

Concerts after concerts. All he has to do is ignore Brian, to keep his sanity.

It’s easier outside concert. In their dorm, he has the safety of his room. Brian doesn’t bother him much. He is too busy writing songs and watching anime. Jae keeps himself involved with his hobbies, and other members. Wonpil is a blessing. He can ignore Brian on tour and travel with Wonpil, Brian never questions. He does, however, question why they don’t share rooms like before.

_’I want to room alone.’_

It’s a safe answer. He isn’t going to notice. Nobody is going to notice.

Fans think jaehyungparkian is dead. They are right, it is, he has made sure. It was a little too easy, they needed a distraction. Get them hooked to another ship.

‘Who’s JaeK? We are Jaehyungparkian.’

It’s funny how Brian is the one who starts bringing it up. Jae doesn’t understand why, but he’s not going to ask. He has to move on, he has put so much effort into this.

Jae snaps his neck, Brian is standing next to him. Why did he walk across the stage toward Jae? Oh, he seems like he wants to jam. Jae usually does it with all the other members, tries to avoid doing it with Brian most of the time.

Now that Brian is here, Jae cannot avoid him. He does it mechanically. He’s good at it.

The smile Brian gives him is breathtaking.

Jae really wants to fuck Brian Kang.

But..

_’They think we are fucking… it’s kinda…’_

Jae gets away from Brian and starts jamming with other members one by one. He needs to get high on the adrenaline, so he can become numb to Brian.

Post concert group photos are really a pain. He always tries standing away from Brian, but somehow that guy makes his way next to him more times than he would like.

He’s too close, he can smell him, his sweat drenched shirt sticking to Jae’s own. His moist hand on Jae’s shoulder.

‘3,2,1,cheese!’

What was the pose again? Did he even smile properly? He is stiff, Brian is still holding onto him.

Jae really wants to fuck Brian Kang.

Jae shrugs his shoulder so Brian’s hand drops and tries to get away. But before taking another step away he finds Brian grabbing onto his shirt from behind, effectively stopping Jae. He could still get away if he wanted to…

_‘Hyung’_

...but he could never ignore Brian this way. It’s not Brian’s fault that Jae is suffering.

Jae turns around.

Brian is giving him that look. Desperation in his eyes. This is the third time Brian has done this on their tour. Holding on to Jae when he tries to get away.

“Yes, Brian?”

Jae can see the conflict in Brian’s eyes. The confidence slowly seeping away. Brian slowly looks to the ground.

“Nothing..”

And this is the third time Brian has given him the same answer. 

Jae does not prompt him further, he is scared that Brian has sensed something. The guy is too observant. 

“‘Kay then.”

Jae wants to turn around and leave but Brian has still not let go off his shirt, unlike the other two times.

“Do you...”

Brian tries.

Jae’s heart thumps. He hopes to all the Gods in existence that his secret is not out. He will never be able to face Brian again.

Jae remains quiet.

Brian is still looking at the ground.

“Do you… find me disgusting, hyung?”

Jae’s racing heart thuds to a halt.

_What._

Brian does not look up. Jae can see his eyelashes clearly this way, his sweaty hair sticking to his forehead. His lips quivering, his ears growing red as seconds pass. A sweat drop trails it’s way from his sideburns and drips down his jawline.

Jae really wants to fuck Brian Kang.

“Fuck you, Brian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End?


	2. Chapter 2

Anger. Jae doesn’t know why it came to that but his blood is boiling. Kang Brian is usually very sensitive and a proclaimed genius but somehow when it comes to Jae, it’s like he forgets to use his head or he’s just testing Jae’s patience. Jae has become used to his annoying side, embraced it even, but it’s been years and the guy keeps being oblivious.

_Does he really not get it?_

Jae sees Brian freeze at his words and a multitude of emotions appear on his face, the initial shock and the disbelief, a flicker of confusion, the widening of eyes when he finally registers that Jae really uttered those words, and then the hurt, giving way to anger.

_“What?”_

Voice deeper than the ocean, hotter now that Brian is angry, eyes accusing Jae of betrayal. 

_Hot._

Jae is getting worked up.

Jae really wants to fuck Brian Kang.

_Fuck him right here, right now, fuck him raw, fuck him until he begs, fuck him until he’s Jae’s._

Jae needs help, he’s becoming crazy. He needs to stop, he’s too far gone. Brian doesn’t deserve this, Brian is not at fault here.

Jae is losing it. He pulls his shirt from Brian’s hand, he needs to get away. He needs to get away before he does something he will regret. He is not in his senses.

Brian is saying something but Jae can’t hear it. He can only see his lips, moving, inviting. He turns around, he has to get away now.

Before being able to take another step forward, he finds himself being pulled back by his arm. Face to face again with a fuming Brian who grabs him by the collar of his hoodie, looking so angry and desperate and _he’s so close_.

Jae needs to calm down, Brian is not at fault and Jae can’t do this to him.

Jae takes a deep breath. 

_Wrong move._

Brian’s musky scent fills Jae up.

Jae wants to fuck Brian Kang senseless.

“Talk to me, don’t just leave.”

“Just stay away from me, Brian.”

Hurt. Just can see hurt in Brian’s eyes and he’s guilty, guilty for feeling this way, guilty for making Brian feel this way.

But Brian is nothing if not stubborn.

“Why should I? Atleast tell me what did I do?!”

The shape of Brian’s mouth is perfectly symmetrical, his teeth perfectly aligned, his entire existence, too perfect. He’s wetting his lips, tongue peeking out. Jae’s hand moves, he has no control, grabbing the side of Brian’s face, thumb swiping across his plump bottom lip, his saliva coating Jae’s thumb.

Jae can feel Brian freeze, eyes wide and lips apart. Jae’s thumb presses inside.

Brian is not reacting, too shocked for words.

Jae really wants to fuck Brian Kang.

He’s being pulled away, thumb sliding out with a ‘pop’, Brian’s plump lip glistening with spit, the same coating over Jae’s thumb.

Jae can hear Sungjin say something to him but he’s lost, he’s lost in Brian, his eyes digging into him, glistening, with fear, with wonder.

Jae licks his own thumb, slowly, tongue peeking out and licking his saliva coated thumb, eyes still fixed on Brian, who now, visibly swallows, but can’t look away.

Jae is really fucking Brian with his eyes at this point when Wonpil pulls Brian away with him, not before glaring at Jae.

Jae is finally able to listen to what Sungjin is saying, now that Brian is out of his sight,

“You’re lucky nobody was paying attention before I noticed what you were doing. Hyung, we need to have a long talk after going back.”

_Ah, they still have the hi-touch to do, the meet and greet, after-party…_ Jae just wants to go back.

“I think you will need to explain a lot to Brian too..”

“Explain?”

Jae’s mind finally clears up after seeing Sungjin’s disappointed expression.

_Oh shoot._

He’s fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YA THE CHAP IS TINY CUZ I WAS LIKE DAFUQ IS THIS SHIT IT READS LIKE SHIT I FORGOTTEN WHAT IS EVEN A FLOW IN FANFIC AND I FEEL LIKE I AM RUINING THE FABULOUS ONESHOT I WROTE HNGGHHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGH also i really can't angst, that first chapter really came out of no where, i was in a zone when i wrote it and now i'm back to normal. i should go back to writing NLR huhuhu I'm really really not sure about this, I really was not going to continue his oneshot, it wasn't meant to be, and I kinda really liked it as a standalone without a continuation ahshddjdkdkdkdk but yall wanted more and I kinda hated myself for ending it there but I CANT WRITE THE CONTINUATION WELL PLS TELL ME IF I SHOULD JUST DELETE THIS CHAP PLS HJKDKDMFJJFFFKKF


	3. Chapter 3

He’s fucked up.

Jae is working on muscle memory at this point, hi-five, smile, say thank you. He’s not registering what is happening around him anymore. Later, he would regret not paying attention to his fans. But right now, he can’t, he can’t even if he tries. 

He can still feel how Brian’s lip felt so soft against his thumb, softer than he had expected. How wet and hot the inside of his lip was, how good those lips looked around his thumb, his mind runs wild on how good those lips would look wrapped elsewhere. It’s not that this is the first time he’s thought about this, but this is the first time it feels too real.

He’s too in his head and the hi-touch is a blur, the meet and greet, he will have no recollection. But that’s okay, that won’t matter. What matters is that right now they are all huddled in the changing room and it’s awkward, to say the least. Brian doesn’t meet his eyes, while the rest of the members keep glancing between the two of them. Wonpil, glaring at Jae is particular. _He knows._ Well, Jae had told Wonpil himself, had blurted out his frustrations one night. Wonpil had been the only person Jae could confide in, but judging by the look Wonpil is giving him, he’s severely disappointed with him. _Who cares._

Brian’s phone rings and he’s moves away from the group to a corner to talk to whoever. Jae used to keep track of these things, who Brian talked to, who he made friends with, who he texted, until he realised that was borderline stalker behaviour. 

“Hyung, _what the fuck_ do you think you were _doing_?”

Jae ignores Wonpil and his eyes keep drifting to Brian in the corner.

_“Hyung!”_

Jae rolls his eyes.

“Not now, Pil.”

“That’s what I want to say to you, not now, not here, hyung.”

“I know. _I know._ Okay? It was not on purpose.”

“‘Not on purpose’ does not cut it, hyung! Do you understand what could have happened if somebody noticed---”

Jae tunes out Wonpil. It’s not like he doesn’t understand what Wonpil is trying to say. Jae himself does not know what came over him today.

_Enough is enough._

It’s Brian Kang’s fault.

Jae is glaring at the back of Brian’s head so hard that he thinks Brian felt it because Brian slowly turns around and looks directly into Jae’s eyes. Jae keeps glaring and slowly Brian’s stare turns into a glare too.

Somehow that makes Jae angry.

So angry that he wants to fuck Brian Kang hard, make him cry, make him beg, make him Jae’s.

As if he’s heard him, Brian ends his phone call and starts walking toward Jae and Jae doesn’t know what he’s preparing himself for. His stance is defensive but as Brian comes closer Jae is somehow waiting for something to happen. But it never happens and Brian stops a few steps away and turns to address all the members,

“I’m gonna get dinner with mom and dad, they’re here.”

“Sweet, we’ll go on ahead to the hotel then, I want to get rid of this sweat stink and would rather not use the showers here.”

Sungjin motions for everybody to leave.

Jae’s mind reels,

“...I have a prior commitment too, so y’all go ahead.”

Jae sees Wonpil giving him an accusing look which says _no you don’t._

“We can drop you on the way to wherever it is that you’re going?”

It is Sungjin who interrupts, giving Jae a stern look. He had seen how Jae had lost control before after all.

Jae stares Sungjin down, something he does very rarely, and it always works. Mostly because Sungjin himself has always respected him as his _hyung_. Jae is the hyung first before Sungjin is the leader.

“I have a pickup arranged.” 

Jae says with finality. And Sungjin knows better than to question Jae. 

Their manager enters the room then, 

“Ready to go? If you don’t hurry up and leave now, I can’t stop the gang from dragging you to the after party.” 

_Hell no._ After parties are fun, usually, but they’ve been playing back to back concerts and there’s one the day after too. Jae is too old for this. And so are his members. 

“We are ready but Jae hyung and Brian are staying back for a while..” 

“You both...” 

The manager sighs, 

“Let’s do one thing, I’ll tell them everyone has left. You two, lock the door just in case and leave as soon as you can.” 

With that the manager leaves with the three members in tow, Wonpil giving a last glance to Jae and Sungjin shaking his head. It is the maknae, who had been relatively quiet the entire time, who finally opens his mouth, 

“Brian hyung, say hi to uncle and aunty from me, and … text us if anything.” 

With that, Dowoon leaves with a withering glare towards Jae. 

“Hm, cheeky brat.” 

Brian doesn’t say anything and soon they are left alone in a silence which starts feeling a little suffocating until, 

“Now this is surprising.” 

“What is?” 

“You, staying back in a room alone with me. Last time this happened was when we were roommates. And even then Dowoon was almost always there… actually I don’t even remember when we were alone last time.” 

Brian says in a mocking tone. 

“Of course you don’t, because it doesn’t matter to you.” 

Jae challenges back. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

”What do you think?” 

Jae is digging himself a hole, he really doesn’t know what he’s doing at this point. The secret he has hidden so well over the past few years, it’s like he’s destroying all his effort in this one moment of weakness, or is it courage? If he can be honest with himself right this moment, he actually just wants Brian to know exactly how Jae thinks of him. _Definitely not as a brother._

He can practically feel the gears in Brian’s head move, thinking what Jae could be implying. Too bad, for all his intelligence, he’s never been able to understand what Jae’s thinking, what Jae’s words truly mean. 

“You… think I don’t care about you? … about… us?” 

Jae’s eyes widen, _no_ , so close yet so far. He really wishes for once Brian would just read his mind, would be able to tell what Jae’s thinking like he can do with everybody else. For once, Jae wants Brian to win against him, his competitive streak be damned. For once, Jae wants Brian to see through his bullshit. 

“I know you care about me. Well, it’s _you._ You can’t _not_ care. You care about everyone and everything.” 

“What are you...” 

“And about ‘us’?” 

Jae motions with his finger, pointing from Brian to himself, 

“What do you mean when you say ‘us’?” 

Brian blinks, looking thoroughly confused now, but Jae knows his mind is in overdrive. 

“Us as in, You and I, our... relationship.” 

Jae’s eyes bore in Brian’s, 

“And what is exactly our relationship, Brian?” 

Brian’s holds Jae’s gaze but for the life of him, he cannot decipher what Jae is trying to tell him, it’s not just his words, the way Jae is looking at him, Brian knows Jae has a lot of things to say, what he doesn’t understand is why Jae is holding back. When did this wall form between them that they can’t be honest with each other? In Brian’s case, he’s very honest with Jae, but Jae is the one who started distancing himself from him, and Brian didn’t know what to do, didn’t want to be nosy, thought Jae must have also started finding him annoying like everybody else. Brian never asked Jae, because he was scared, scared that Jae didn’t like him anymore, that perhaps, Jae didn’t really want to do anything with him if it wasn’t because of DAY6. 

_No._

That’s his insecurities taking over. He knows Jae isn’t like that, Jae wouldn’t hate him, even if Jae stays away from him, he’s always there for Brian. And that’s why Brian never asked Jae, thought Jae just needed some space, he was infact happy that Jae has gotten much closer to all the members than before. He did feel a little jealous, though he didn’t exactly understand why, _or didn’t want to_ , so he stopped pondering over those things. 

“Brian?” 

Brian blinks, Jae is waiting for his answer. Their relationship? Aren’t they… 

“...bandmates, we are bandmates. I’d also like to think we are friends, hyung, not sure about you though.” 

“Is that it?” 

“Sorry?” 

“Is that all there is to us, Brian?” 

Jae takes a step closer, his eyes never leaving Brian’s. 

Brian is frozen. What does Jae _mean_? Jae and Brian are… friends, right? 

Jae is now directly in front of him, no more distance separating them. Perhaps, he's a little too close, closer than he ever let's himself be. 

Brian wasn’t expecting it when Jae’s hands move and cup Brian’s face. _When was the last time Jae willingly touched him?_ It’s not like Brian didn’t notice Jae’s resistance toward Brian touching him, which led him to think that Jae finds him disgusting. 

And because Brian doesn’t even remember the last time Jae touched him, it’s like his body had been craving this touch, this attention from Jae. He leans into Jae’s hands, face moving slighting against Jae’s palms as if he wants Jae to caress him. Jae’s big hands engulf him and Brian draws a blank, _what is he doing?_ Why does he even want Jae to touch him, to caress him? 

“But Brian..” 

Jae gets Brian’s attention back, as he sees his eyes going out of focus. 

Brian’s looks at Jae again and suddenly he’s scared, because the look in Jae’s eyes is wicked, Brian knows this look. He isn’t going to like what Jae is going to say next. 

“... don’t you remember what you said before? About us?” 

What did Brian say? What is Jae talking about? 

Brian shakes his head slightly, not trying to dwell on the fact that he did that just because he wanted to feel more of Jae’s hands. 

“Didn’t you say, that we are like brothers?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise? Also so sorry the ending it so abrupt, I really couldn't find a proper point to stop, and wanted to update because suddenly I want to continue this fic haha, entropy has got me in the mood for angst :o  
> If you're still reading this fic, please comment so I'd know that you guys still want this to be updated! <3


End file.
